Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A place for friends

(Cross posted at fMh)

The holidays are a difficult time for me. Most of my adult holidays have been spent alone or as the awkward guest in another family’s family-time. Even as a child it was difficult. I was the step-kid and often treated as a guest at my mother’s husband’s family get together…Oy! How the holidays sucked.

I thought it would be easier to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas when I remarried. I thought having a ‘family’ would change things, would change me, but His family is in Wisconsin and it’s just the 3 of us-often only two of us. Making a big turkey dinner with all of the trimmings is a lot of work and a lot of food for a very small family.

As I thought about my feelings, and the 30+ years of emotional baggage I carry around with me this time of year, my thoughts turned to a familiar saying on fMh:

It’s good to know that I’m not the only one that feels this way.

And then I remembered the single mother, the widow, the never married, the newly married couple, the childless, the individuals who have been discarded by their biological family and anyone that feels alone this time of year, and I though about how, if I could open my heart and home to comfort those people during this time, I would have the ambition and desire to celebrate.

I’m not saying that my family isn’t worthy of celebration but when 2/3 of my family isn’t the celebratin’ type, it takes all the fun out of all the work.

So, to everyone who doesn’t have a big family get-together awaiting them tomorrow, know that if my home was the center of the fMh universe you would be welcomed here and we’d cook and burn food and make the house smell like heaven. We’d talk and cry and laugh at everything that came to our minds. We’d watch some football and most definitely some hockey. We’d break bread and stuff ourselves silly until we couldn’t stand to look at another slice of pumpkin pie and then when we’re full and content and satisfied, we’d part ways and say to each other : until we meet again friend.

My thoughts are with you.


  1. Oh, Mel, I've seen parts of this in my life about the Holidays.

    My wife would beat herself to death making trinkets for her nieces & nephews some years ago. A family present didn't seem to be good enough for her at the time.

    My father would get all irrational at Christmas, to the point were we never did a stay over visit at the Holidays again. Labor Day or Thanksgiving, but not Christmas after that. He would feel we were ungrateful often, yet he he would insist on moderately priced & numbers of gifts, not cutting back on them.

  2. Anonymous?

    Who are you? And thanks for stopping by.

  3. Silly me. It's Mike H., from fMh fame.

    Yes, what I went through is not identical to your situation, but I can see overtones of it my own life.

  4. Oh, Mel, you are so sweet. The whole idea of Christmas as this gigantic celebration just doesn't always work; and then the opposite happens. But you're so sweet and so decent. Only the best Christmases for you and yours.


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